With the choppers flying overhead and the gunshots in the distance I know we made a difference here. The first day we got here we were welcomed with mortars. I was standing in the shower when two of them hit entirely too close for comfort. Now about a year later I am still here still breathing As I sit here and think of home I think how awesome it will be to get there, to see family and friends again, family, not people in uniform, who share love and caring with other members of the family. I do feel some sadness as I feel that I will never in my life see this place again. I do not want to ever come here again but it is sad that I will never see it again. I imagine that many people go their entire lives without saying that they will never visit a place again. I can say with some certainty that I will never visit here again. It is kind of sad.
I have shared with you the past 18 months of my life, the fears the trials the new found strength through faith in God. I appreciate the concerns, the letters and the comments to my family. I feel now for certain that I will make it home and will go back to normal, but I find it hard to remember exactly what normal is. I know that my words helped me through the tough times experienced and can only hope that in some way they helped other families of deployed soldiers with their fears. They say that fear is showing weakness I say that fear is acknowledging weakness and admitting that you have some weaknesses. I have no doubt that fear is real and have learned many things through this trip on how to deal with it. As the “greatest adventure” of my life comes to an end I think back on the time and can only say one thing for certain. He left home, he spends time away, but for a good cause, one thing is for certain “He is a real soldier”.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Where in the world is small town USA?
I have been corresponding via email with a wonderful person who is much like me in many ways. I worked for her husband many years ago and now have found a new email pal. The following is an excerpt from one of her emails that makes me wonder what happened To Small town USA?
Even today, the people take food to the ones that don't have it, drive them to a doctor if needed, make repairs to their houses, and just generally see to the welfare of whoever needs help. It is small town America at its best and there are probably hundreds of towns that do the same things.
This is truly the meaning of small town USA. How many times have you been on the highway traveling and come across someone in need of help. Whether it be a tire repair or another vehicle repair. Do you stop? I do but only when I am alone. I sometimes feel that it is a danger to stop and render assistance to people but I know that I will be rewarded if there is no danger. I remember several years ago I stopped and helped a man change a tire on the hill leaving Brownwood. I noticed as I went by that an undercover police officer was pulled up beside a car with a flat. As I continued in the opposite direction something told me to turn around and go back. I did and to this day still reap the benefit of my assistance. As I pulled up behind the vehicle I noted that the other car was gone and that the older gentleman was struggling with the jack. I offered assistance and in no time had the tire replaced for them. The man’s wife and grandchild were in the car and they had shut it off because they were afraid it would fall off the jack. The lady was sweating and the grandchild did not look well. To this day I thank God for turning me around to render assistance and feel like the hand shake at the end was such a wonderful reward. As I recall the man offered payment and asked what he owed me. I told him a hand shake would do. What happened to people who were not afraid to help out someone in need. Small town USA has slowly disappeared. I am thankful that my father taught me compassion and love for my fellow man. I know that people today teach their children right and wrong but what happens after that. In an age where television is a big part of people’s lives maybe it is possible that we have come to fear society or people. Anyway I say this so next time you are flying down the highway enjoying the A/C and come across someone in need of help think one day it could be you in need. Bring back Small town USA ways of thinking and let’s make a difference one person at a time…
Even today, the people take food to the ones that don't have it, drive them to a doctor if needed, make repairs to their houses, and just generally see to the welfare of whoever needs help. It is small town America at its best and there are probably hundreds of towns that do the same things.
This is truly the meaning of small town USA. How many times have you been on the highway traveling and come across someone in need of help. Whether it be a tire repair or another vehicle repair. Do you stop? I do but only when I am alone. I sometimes feel that it is a danger to stop and render assistance to people but I know that I will be rewarded if there is no danger. I remember several years ago I stopped and helped a man change a tire on the hill leaving Brownwood. I noticed as I went by that an undercover police officer was pulled up beside a car with a flat. As I continued in the opposite direction something told me to turn around and go back. I did and to this day still reap the benefit of my assistance. As I pulled up behind the vehicle I noted that the other car was gone and that the older gentleman was struggling with the jack. I offered assistance and in no time had the tire replaced for them. The man’s wife and grandchild were in the car and they had shut it off because they were afraid it would fall off the jack. The lady was sweating and the grandchild did not look well. To this day I thank God for turning me around to render assistance and feel like the hand shake at the end was such a wonderful reward. As I recall the man offered payment and asked what he owed me. I told him a hand shake would do. What happened to people who were not afraid to help out someone in need. Small town USA has slowly disappeared. I am thankful that my father taught me compassion and love for my fellow man. I know that people today teach their children right and wrong but what happens after that. In an age where television is a big part of people’s lives maybe it is possible that we have come to fear society or people. Anyway I say this so next time you are flying down the highway enjoying the A/C and come across someone in need of help think one day it could be you in need. Bring back Small town USA ways of thinking and let’s make a difference one person at a time…
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Thanks giving
Some people would think that a soldier far away from home would have problems around Thanksgiving. It really for me is quite opposite. The endless days and loneliness and the effects of these broken people recovering from 30 some years of atrocities in itself provides a great reason to give thanks. God has granted me the chance to help out people who at one time where to afraid or “beat down” to help themselves. I am thankful that I did what I did when I signed up. I am glad that I was given the chance to make a difference in my own little way.
From a distance I see my life back home and each day I become more and more thankful that I met my wonderful wife. Without my wife and kids I do not think I would be half the person that I am now. They have seen the “evil” in me and stood by me. They have supported me from a distance and will stand up for me in my absence. I feel as if I have given my oldest child all of the love and care that I could. I have examined and realized that I have neglected my youngest child.
I grew up in a home full of love. There was never any doubt that I was loved. All families have small issues that sometimes seem to consume them. The true families that make it through learn from these things and get by them as mine has and always will. Just as God forgives and forgets he expects us to do the same.
These things I have come to realize from a distance and I thank God that I have been given the chance to return home to the love of family and friends. Thank God for All things for without him we are but dust.
Time has not ended but life and Thanksgiving are endless…
From a distance I see my life back home and each day I become more and more thankful that I met my wonderful wife. Without my wife and kids I do not think I would be half the person that I am now. They have seen the “evil” in me and stood by me. They have supported me from a distance and will stand up for me in my absence. I feel as if I have given my oldest child all of the love and care that I could. I have examined and realized that I have neglected my youngest child.
I grew up in a home full of love. There was never any doubt that I was loved. All families have small issues that sometimes seem to consume them. The true families that make it through learn from these things and get by them as mine has and always will. Just as God forgives and forgets he expects us to do the same.
These things I have come to realize from a distance and I thank God that I have been given the chance to return home to the love of family and friends. Thank God for All things for without him we are but dust.
Time has not ended but life and Thanksgiving are endless…
Sunday, November 06, 2005
"Let all Nations Rejoice"
Okay this is going to be one of my best blogs stories in a while. I know that I have talked about Maria. Well her name is actually Mariam. She has put in words to Mr. Bush how she feels about what he has done here. I will type it word for word into this blog and then try to scan it and post the actual hand written letter as a picture. Here is proof that we have made a difference.
To my hero
Dear President Bush
I am Iraqi woman my name is Mariam Farhan, I want to tell you I love you so much and pray for you every night because you give us the freedom we was prayer and waiting for someone come to take this nightmare away, we wait so long 35 years. And I want to tell you many Iraqi people they love you also but the are afraid to say that.
And before Multi-National-Force they come it was my salary 50 $ but now 500$ I can help my family better and I can eat better and I can wear better also. Thank you for everything you did for Iraqi people, thank you for your love to us, thank you for your care. “The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you, The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace” Numbers 6:24,25,26
Be blessed
With Love
Mariam
As I read this tonight after church I was so amazed at the words that I read it out loud to everyone. God is Love and it shows.
To my hero
Dear President Bush
I am Iraqi woman my name is Mariam Farhan, I want to tell you I love you so much and pray for you every night because you give us the freedom we was prayer and waiting for someone come to take this nightmare away, we wait so long 35 years. And I want to tell you many Iraqi people they love you also but the are afraid to say that.
And before Multi-National-Force they come it was my salary 50 $ but now 500$ I can help my family better and I can eat better and I can wear better also. Thank you for everything you did for Iraqi people, thank you for your love to us, thank you for your care. “The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you, The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace” Numbers 6:24,25,26
Be blessed
With Love
Mariam
As I read this tonight after church I was so amazed at the words that I read it out loud to everyone. God is Love and it shows.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
A Scared Child
I was sitting on the couch this evening wondering what it would be like to be home. Home with my wife and kids. Home seems so far away yet we are one day closer to being there. In all this I came to the realization that I have some type of fear of going home. The lines below list some of that fear and from the thoughts of fear of coming home I turned it into a poem of sorts. Some of the things listed in the poem are fiction but some of the thoughts are real. Hope you enjoy. We have been so busy lately that I have not had time to write. Almost there.
I feel like that kid in school who went out one night and acted a fool.
As he puts the quarter in the slot he wonders about broken rules.
He makes the call to his dad and when he hangs up he feels oh so bad.
He cries:
Daddy I’m scared to come home. There are people in here but I am alone.
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
When you were my age did you do any of the same?
As he loads the last suitcase in the car,
He turns and looks back at his home from a far
Mom and dad I love you and gone
He calls:
Daddy I’m scared and alone,
I‘ve been thinking of coming home.
I feel so alone can I move back in?
On the plane gone to fight over the sea
Thoughts of home bring fears to light for me
Soon my dream will come true
He writes:
Daddy I’m scared to come home,
I’ve been away for too long.
What if when I get there I cannot remember who I am?
As the sharp pain fades from his thoughts
His eyes focus on the joys that they ought
He sees the light in his eyes
He prays:
Father take me home, There are people here who are all alone
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
Does it hurt knowing you gave your son for our shame?
I feel like that kid in school who went out one night and acted a fool.
As he puts the quarter in the slot he wonders about broken rules.
He makes the call to his dad and when he hangs up he feels oh so bad.
He cries:
Daddy I’m scared to come home. There are people in here but I am alone.
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
When you were my age did you do any of the same?
As he loads the last suitcase in the car,
He turns and looks back at his home from a far
Mom and dad I love you and gone
He calls:
Daddy I’m scared and alone,
I‘ve been thinking of coming home.
I feel so alone can I move back in?
On the plane gone to fight over the sea
Thoughts of home bring fears to light for me
Soon my dream will come true
He writes:
Daddy I’m scared to come home,
I’ve been away for too long.
What if when I get there I cannot remember who I am?
As the sharp pain fades from his thoughts
His eyes focus on the joys that they ought
He sees the light in his eyes
He prays:
Father take me home, There are people here who are all alone
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
Does it hurt knowing you gave your son for our shame?
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