Stage three.
The most dangerous thing I have ever done by far. Make it to the CITY without getting blown up. As I stood and listened to the briefing I prayed, as I loaded up in the truck I prayed. As we pulled out the gate I prayed. One and a half hours and I slide into home….SAFE!!!!!!.
The night was very dark and nothing could be seen except the lights on the roadsides. It is a strange site to see fluorescent lights outside at night but most of the smaller houses had them. I could not see much further than that in the darkness. And we drove through checkpoints on the wrong side of the highway and then the right side of the highway. Ever vigilant was the driver to ensure that he did not cross over the top of anything on the roadway. I cannot imagine trying to drive like this. It brings defensive driving to a new level. How many times had I at home been driving and seen something in the road, dead animal coke can anything and just centered it on the truck and kept right on going. Scanning the road ahead the driver and Co-driver relay info back and forth and the co-driver to the rest of the convoy. It was like a well oiled machine if one missed something then the other one caught it. I just sat there with eyes wide open looking for things that did not look right not knowing what would explode. We trained for this type of thing prior to coming over but I had never seen it this close and the training was pretty darn good. We complained while receiving the training but now I see that it was right on the mark. (as far as convoy training goes) As we approached the CITY we slowed checked for the convoy they were quite a ways back As we get close to the city the worst thing you could ever imagine as a GI came over the radio. The radio traffic that night only came from the internal convoy radio frequencies. So we heard things like convoy speeds and things like that to keep us abreast of distances and things. Then I hear IED!!! IED!!!! It was one of the guys at the back of our convoy. I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest. How would I explain to someone that this was actually my choice and that I did not have to go this route home? As I sat and thought about what was going on I realized that if I heard someone say IED then I was in no danger if I had not seen it. At least that was my reasoning. We kept on hauling but and a short time later found out that it was in the other lane of traffic. We all breathe a sigh of relief but know that it could have been one of our comrades out there who will never make it home. We will never know. The rest of the trip I spent in a quiet meditation and finally reached my drop off point, my safety barrier. The wall that had closed in on me so many days before was now a welcome wide open country that I will not leave again unless there is absolutely no way around it. One thing is for certain I may not be a Real Soldier in my mind but I met some real soldiers this night. I know that what I do makes a difference and I know that I will have a different outlook on things from this point on. I pray for the safe return of the Convoy escorts and I thank them for giving me the ride of my life.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Stage Two
Stage two.
We towed the truck in to Camp. We checked in made it around through the fuel point and then to the motor pool. Locked them up and headed for some much needed shut eye. Remember I said that I had spent the night at the Airport the night before and if you think I slept on the journey you are crazy. As we traveled things seemed to jump out of the shadows at me making me twitch in my seat. Now it is time to sleep bed can’t wait. Hey this tent is hot what the hell. The air is broken in the tent so we try to sleep in the heat sweating like pigs. We did not have plans to stay here but due to the needed repairs to the vehicle we had to change plans. So there I lay soaked through and through thinking about the activity reported at this place just the night before. Mortars had sent people scrambling for cover. We lay there for a while and then one of the guys came in and said that he had scouted out another tent with A/C. I knew that it was not the right thing to do but did not care; at that point, I just needed to get out of the heat and get some sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. However shortly after some other soldiers showed up saying that they had signed for the tent and the squatters were kicked to the curb. We went back to the Sauna tent and lay down. By this time the outside temp was probably around 80 degrees and the temp in the tent was around 90 or so. It was hot but sleep was on me and sleep I did…. Next morning good news, It was the power steering pump that had caused such a problem and they had one on the camp and got it fixed. We spent the day lounging around. The other two guys in the tent with me slept most of the morning.(they work night shift) I was up at the crack of down and after smelling myself headed for a shower, then to the MWR to watch a movie. This was a tent with the A/C blowing full force. I lay across about 6 chairs and it was not long till I was out. I woke up in time to catch the last of Ghost the movie that was starting as I lay down. I checked in at the tent and found that the other guy’s tent had A/C so I pulled my mattress out of the hot tent and put it on the floor in the other tent. There were three mattresses on the floor of the tent when it was all said and done as the other two guys followed suit. We knapped away most of the afternoon into the early evening then it was Go time once again.
We towed the truck in to Camp. We checked in made it around through the fuel point and then to the motor pool. Locked them up and headed for some much needed shut eye. Remember I said that I had spent the night at the Airport the night before and if you think I slept on the journey you are crazy. As we traveled things seemed to jump out of the shadows at me making me twitch in my seat. Now it is time to sleep bed can’t wait. Hey this tent is hot what the hell. The air is broken in the tent so we try to sleep in the heat sweating like pigs. We did not have plans to stay here but due to the needed repairs to the vehicle we had to change plans. So there I lay soaked through and through thinking about the activity reported at this place just the night before. Mortars had sent people scrambling for cover. We lay there for a while and then one of the guys came in and said that he had scouted out another tent with A/C. I knew that it was not the right thing to do but did not care; at that point, I just needed to get out of the heat and get some sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. However shortly after some other soldiers showed up saying that they had signed for the tent and the squatters were kicked to the curb. We went back to the Sauna tent and lay down. By this time the outside temp was probably around 80 degrees and the temp in the tent was around 90 or so. It was hot but sleep was on me and sleep I did…. Next morning good news, It was the power steering pump that had caused such a problem and they had one on the camp and got it fixed. We spent the day lounging around. The other two guys in the tent with me slept most of the morning.(they work night shift) I was up at the crack of down and after smelling myself headed for a shower, then to the MWR to watch a movie. This was a tent with the A/C blowing full force. I lay across about 6 chairs and it was not long till I was out. I woke up in time to catch the last of Ghost the movie that was starting as I lay down. I checked in at the tent and found that the other guy’s tent had A/C so I pulled my mattress out of the hot tent and put it on the floor in the other tent. There were three mattresses on the floor of the tent when it was all said and done as the other two guys followed suit. We knapped away most of the afternoon into the early evening then it was Go time once again.
Stage One
Stage 1
The trip had three stages the first stage being the longest. After what seemed like an eternity of riding in the truck we arrive at the first stop. As I sat and relaxed I began to realize things about myself that became all too unsettling. The first thing that popped into my mind was that at any point during this trip I could hear the words IED......... or not hear the words and just be dead, not living, no more. Gone, without life, history. These thoughts took me spinning like I was inside a kaleidoscope towards family and home. I saw my wife and kids standing over me looking down upon my lifeless body crying. The flag draped casket looking ever powerful. I began to understand things about life that I had never pondered before. The complaining and whining that I had done since arriving in this country all boiled down to just one thing whining. These guys, two in front and one on top in the gunner position do this everyday. They load up and drive these “highways of death” without complaint without talk of death. They just do what they have to do and try to enjoy it as much as they can. I salute these real Heroes and real soldiers for I am just a small part of the game and they are a big part of the Success of this adventure. Death, fascinating, wondering if what we believe is really there, or if we just die into blackness. These things would haunt me for the next several hours. As we drove quickly through the darkness, I noted that the roads had no stripes. It was just as black as the night, hard to see at times. As we drove we crossed from the southbound lanes to the north bound and back again. This in itself was scary. How about stopping on a dark highway blocking traffic watching as the vehicles approached? The gunner on top is responsible for stopping traffic using any method necessary. This time he only had to use his spot light to light up the cab of the trucks or cars and they would hurriedly pull off the road and turn off their lights. They know that the military is not a force to be reckoned with. We could see the convoy lights but they seemed to be fading and then they disappeared. We made a hasty u-turn. Not a TV u-turn as the up-armored HUMMV is like a tank and seems to me to be really top heavy. We headed back. As we were headed that way a voice reported that we had a truck with a blown engine. One of the HUMMVs was stopped with the hood up and soldiers scrambled all over to find the source of the massive leak. Being a mechanic I knew that it was not the engine but did not look at it. They quickly hooked up a tow bar and got it ready to tow. I stood on the side of the highway in utter disbelief. The darkness, the thoughts of be-headings instinctively put my hand on my 9 mm as I scanned the darkness beyond the glare from the flashlights. There was a sense of urgency among the others but none had shown one ounce of fear. I think that was my job. I did not show it to them but I did not do a lot of anything just scanned the darkness for the enemy. Thankfully I did not see anything and we were loaded up and off to the races again. For the next 30 minutes or so I sat and listened to my heart slow from a pound to a regular heart beat again. To think at any minute within the last 3 and half hours I could have ceased to exist. Makes life matter so much more. These guys do this kind of thing 5 or 6 times a week and I complain about what I do??? Do I really have room to do so?? So we get to the end of stage one.
The trip had three stages the first stage being the longest. After what seemed like an eternity of riding in the truck we arrive at the first stop. As I sat and relaxed I began to realize things about myself that became all too unsettling. The first thing that popped into my mind was that at any point during this trip I could hear the words IED......... or not hear the words and just be dead, not living, no more. Gone, without life, history. These thoughts took me spinning like I was inside a kaleidoscope towards family and home. I saw my wife and kids standing over me looking down upon my lifeless body crying. The flag draped casket looking ever powerful. I began to understand things about life that I had never pondered before. The complaining and whining that I had done since arriving in this country all boiled down to just one thing whining. These guys, two in front and one on top in the gunner position do this everyday. They load up and drive these “highways of death” without complaint without talk of death. They just do what they have to do and try to enjoy it as much as they can. I salute these real Heroes and real soldiers for I am just a small part of the game and they are a big part of the Success of this adventure. Death, fascinating, wondering if what we believe is really there, or if we just die into blackness. These things would haunt me for the next several hours. As we drove quickly through the darkness, I noted that the roads had no stripes. It was just as black as the night, hard to see at times. As we drove we crossed from the southbound lanes to the north bound and back again. This in itself was scary. How about stopping on a dark highway blocking traffic watching as the vehicles approached? The gunner on top is responsible for stopping traffic using any method necessary. This time he only had to use his spot light to light up the cab of the trucks or cars and they would hurriedly pull off the road and turn off their lights. They know that the military is not a force to be reckoned with. We could see the convoy lights but they seemed to be fading and then they disappeared. We made a hasty u-turn. Not a TV u-turn as the up-armored HUMMV is like a tank and seems to me to be really top heavy. We headed back. As we were headed that way a voice reported that we had a truck with a blown engine. One of the HUMMVs was stopped with the hood up and soldiers scrambled all over to find the source of the massive leak. Being a mechanic I knew that it was not the engine but did not look at it. They quickly hooked up a tow bar and got it ready to tow. I stood on the side of the highway in utter disbelief. The darkness, the thoughts of be-headings instinctively put my hand on my 9 mm as I scanned the darkness beyond the glare from the flashlights. There was a sense of urgency among the others but none had shown one ounce of fear. I think that was my job. I did not show it to them but I did not do a lot of anything just scanned the darkness for the enemy. Thankfully I did not see anything and we were loaded up and off to the races again. For the next 30 minutes or so I sat and listened to my heart slow from a pound to a regular heart beat again. To think at any minute within the last 3 and half hours I could have ceased to exist. Makes life matter so much more. These guys do this kind of thing 5 or 6 times a week and I complain about what I do??? Do I really have room to do so?? So we get to the end of stage one.
the Road Ahead
27 August 2005
What happens next will keep you on the edge of your seat…..As It did me for some 36 hours. No flight to the CITY till Tuesday so the only alternative to get me back to work is Convoy through no mans land. I have wanted to get out of the walls for a while but not sure that this was exactly how I wanted to spend my time. So I get it set up and make contact with a seasoned young Staff Sergeant. His look was that of pride and it was obvious that he demanded respect from his troops and that he was given full respect. He told me what seat I would be riding in and I set out getting my stuff ready. I had already “acquired” (great supply word) extra ammo. I was carrying only a 9mm but I had 100 rounds for it. I had plenty of ammo but I was not ready for the road ahead. I am not sure if one could ever be ready for the road ahead.
What happens next will keep you on the edge of your seat…..As It did me for some 36 hours. No flight to the CITY till Tuesday so the only alternative to get me back to work is Convoy through no mans land. I have wanted to get out of the walls for a while but not sure that this was exactly how I wanted to spend my time. So I get it set up and make contact with a seasoned young Staff Sergeant. His look was that of pride and it was obvious that he demanded respect from his troops and that he was given full respect. He told me what seat I would be riding in and I set out getting my stuff ready. I had already “acquired” (great supply word) extra ammo. I was carrying only a 9mm but I had 100 rounds for it. I had plenty of ammo but I was not ready for the road ahead. I am not sure if one could ever be ready for the road ahead.
Spent a week there one night...
26 August 2005
I have waited 3 days to get out of here. This place is hell. I thank my God in Heaven that I did not get the mission to stay here as this would have surely been “drawing the short straw”. I really appreciate what I have been provided after seeing this. Living in trailers or tents they do have AC but they just do not have it as good as we do. Tried numerous times to schedule a flight, even tried to fly with the Aussie’s but to no avail. (This is the account of the airport on 26 August) Flight was scheduled to leave at 1930 so we had to be at the airport 2 hours early. So here we are sitting in the sunlight waiting. Only 6 people headed back to the CITY. We load the bus and head off down the road to the plane. Upon arrival at the plane the bus driver got out and talked with the crew. They said that the plane was broke and that it would be an” HOUR”. So back to the terminal, more sitting in the sun in the ever popular “hurry up and wait status”. As I sat there I knew the outcome that we would be faced with that evening and even shared it with a couple of other would be passengers. “You do know that we are not flying tonight? Right?”
“You really think so” he said. Yep (I hate being right sometimes and this was one of those times.) Delayed till 1000 delayed till 1100 delay till 345am. “Check in at 1200” So we grabbed a cot and caught a wink or two. I rose at midnight and made the trip back to the counter in the terminal and was finally told “Flight canceled”. I smiled and turned and walked away cursing all the way to the door internally but I had known this all along. After speaking with one of the other passengers we returned to the terminal checked on other flights going to the CITY. “Nothing till Tuesday we were told”. So we scheduled a flight to another location and from there we were hoping to catch a connection. Flight time 1000 am with a report time of two hours prior. So we walked to the mess hall and ate and made it back to the terminal for some much needed rest at around 2 or 3 am. Wake up check in and board the bus. This time we load the plane and wait for take off. Flight time to the alternate destination approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes. Woohoo we are taking off. In-flight the Load masters keeps coming to my side and looking out the window. What’s the deal I wonder? Little did I know that this question would be answered soon enough and much to the dismay of all passengers on-board? Now you might think that the plane is going down or something like that well after 1 hour and 30 minutes we land. We taxi for awhile and then the back door opens to reveal……………..The same damn place we just left from…..I was Steaming mad. Apparently the plane was broke when we took off and I guess they wanted to see if it would fix itself in flight? Heck I don’t know but I do know that we flew over halfway to where we were going and then turned around and headed back………….. Upon arrival at the counter to find out what we were supposed to do “a nice air force lady” (sarcasm) told us not to go to far because if they called to re-board we would have to be ready on a moments notice. By this time I am steamed and told them that I was leaving and going to eat and if the damned plane was gone with I got back then so be it. Wanting to say more but biting my tongue as I am just short of the middle of the totem pole. So I left and grabbed some food and came back and the plane was still there of course and I was full and feeling a bit better. Well this story has been too long already so lets shorten this up by saying the FLIGHT WAS Cancelled.
I have waited 3 days to get out of here. This place is hell. I thank my God in Heaven that I did not get the mission to stay here as this would have surely been “drawing the short straw”. I really appreciate what I have been provided after seeing this. Living in trailers or tents they do have AC but they just do not have it as good as we do. Tried numerous times to schedule a flight, even tried to fly with the Aussie’s but to no avail. (This is the account of the airport on 26 August) Flight was scheduled to leave at 1930 so we had to be at the airport 2 hours early. So here we are sitting in the sunlight waiting. Only 6 people headed back to the CITY. We load the bus and head off down the road to the plane. Upon arrival at the plane the bus driver got out and talked with the crew. They said that the plane was broke and that it would be an” HOUR”. So back to the terminal, more sitting in the sun in the ever popular “hurry up and wait status”. As I sat there I knew the outcome that we would be faced with that evening and even shared it with a couple of other would be passengers. “You do know that we are not flying tonight? Right?”
“You really think so” he said. Yep (I hate being right sometimes and this was one of those times.) Delayed till 1000 delayed till 1100 delay till 345am. “Check in at 1200” So we grabbed a cot and caught a wink or two. I rose at midnight and made the trip back to the counter in the terminal and was finally told “Flight canceled”. I smiled and turned and walked away cursing all the way to the door internally but I had known this all along. After speaking with one of the other passengers we returned to the terminal checked on other flights going to the CITY. “Nothing till Tuesday we were told”. So we scheduled a flight to another location and from there we were hoping to catch a connection. Flight time 1000 am with a report time of two hours prior. So we walked to the mess hall and ate and made it back to the terminal for some much needed rest at around 2 or 3 am. Wake up check in and board the bus. This time we load the plane and wait for take off. Flight time to the alternate destination approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes. Woohoo we are taking off. In-flight the Load masters keeps coming to my side and looking out the window. What’s the deal I wonder? Little did I know that this question would be answered soon enough and much to the dismay of all passengers on-board? Now you might think that the plane is going down or something like that well after 1 hour and 30 minutes we land. We taxi for awhile and then the back door opens to reveal……………..The same damn place we just left from…..I was Steaming mad. Apparently the plane was broke when we took off and I guess they wanted to see if it would fix itself in flight? Heck I don’t know but I do know that we flew over halfway to where we were going and then turned around and headed back………….. Upon arrival at the counter to find out what we were supposed to do “a nice air force lady” (sarcasm) told us not to go to far because if they called to re-board we would have to be ready on a moments notice. By this time I am steamed and told them that I was leaving and going to eat and if the damned plane was gone with I got back then so be it. Wanting to say more but biting my tongue as I am just short of the middle of the totem pole. So I left and grabbed some food and came back and the plane was still there of course and I was full and feeling a bit better. Well this story has been too long already so lets shorten this up by saying the FLIGHT WAS Cancelled.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Still just a peanut....
23 August 2005
Day 1 mission complete… I thought it would take at least two days to accomplish the mission as I have heard rumor of who I would be dealing with when I arrived and have been told that this individual does not know his job. I know my job and also know his so I did his part too and he could not help but sign as his part was finished too. The proficiency at which the tasks were accomplished surprised even me.( pardon me while I toot my own horn) When you’re good they call you “Cracker Jack” but I am still just a peanut…..ha………………..ha…………..
Day 1 mission complete… I thought it would take at least two days to accomplish the mission as I have heard rumor of who I would be dealing with when I arrived and have been told that this individual does not know his job. I know my job and also know his so I did his part too and he could not help but sign as his part was finished too. The proficiency at which the tasks were accomplished surprised even me.( pardon me while I toot my own horn) When you’re good they call you “Cracker Jack” but I am still just a peanut…..ha………………..ha…………..
What no stewardess????
22 August 2005
As I sit here in a C-130 (airplane) with Blackout lights on I am not worried. I have not let myself worry for sometime now. I know that I will go home when it is time and have not feared death in a while. The last trips were bothersome but this one is “fly down there do the job and fly back”. My dream of flying on a Blackhawk helicopter on hold for a while as there were no “helo” flights down to where I am going, so for now I sit in the belly of this beast sweating profusely awaiting for take-off. I sure hope the Air works because it is hot in here. I have been told that return flights are hard to get so a convoy may be in my future as a ride back to my temporary home in “the CITY”. For now C-130 nose down coming in for a landing. The pilots go nose down and drop out of the sky so they maintain a maximum altitude while over no mans land in case some one might shoot something at us. Well, one hour fifteen minutes south and very uneventful. At least to us inside this big beast but no telling what is going on outside the plane as we fly over no mans land. No in-flight movie no peanuts just hot and loud............... touchdown.
As I sit here in a C-130 (airplane) with Blackout lights on I am not worried. I have not let myself worry for sometime now. I know that I will go home when it is time and have not feared death in a while. The last trips were bothersome but this one is “fly down there do the job and fly back”. My dream of flying on a Blackhawk helicopter on hold for a while as there were no “helo” flights down to where I am going, so for now I sit in the belly of this beast sweating profusely awaiting for take-off. I sure hope the Air works because it is hot in here. I have been told that return flights are hard to get so a convoy may be in my future as a ride back to my temporary home in “the CITY”. For now C-130 nose down coming in for a landing. The pilots go nose down and drop out of the sky so they maintain a maximum altitude while over no mans land in case some one might shoot something at us. Well, one hour fifteen minutes south and very uneventful. At least to us inside this big beast but no telling what is going on outside the plane as we fly over no mans land. No in-flight movie no peanuts just hot and loud............... touchdown.
Monday, August 29, 2005
This is what soldiers do
Well I am back in the office now. In order for you to fully appreciate where I have been and what I have been up to you will have to read the rest of the blog. This will be a long drawn out story as you will see. I met some heroes and did some things that most soldiers would never do given the choice. This was a choice that I made and I am the wiser for it. Just so we understand. I do not intend to scare anyone this was something I needed to do and made it through. So please don't tell me I told you so…………..
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Memorial
I walked in the PX last night and stopped right in my tracks inside the front door. Right in front of me was a tall plywood memorial to soldiers killed in this area. Oh this list was the name of my wife's nephew Johnny V. Mata. A soldier had spent time painting each name on this sign. I believe this was done in the early stages of the war. What a great thing to do to help soldiers remember the names of the soldiers not just the number of dead.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
"Out of Office Reply"
As I sit on the tarmack at the "airport" I think back on the fears that I carried when I arrived in this country. I had a fear of flying on a military aircraft, with all of the military flights that I have been on since arrival this is just another plane ride. I was afraid of death but have come to realize that this fear is not necessary because in death I can achieve "Eternal Life". As the plane learched forward and builds to a take off speed I look out the window into the dark Iraq night. I wonder if this could be my last trip. The walls had closed in completely and I had to get out. The only trip that I look forward to is the trip home to be with family. For security reasons we cannot say when this day will come but I do not think that anyone knows for sure. All I know is one day I will return home.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Rambling
There once was a soldier named J
He was sent to Iraq one day
As he worked and did what he could
He came to understand what others should
Freedom life and happiness ain't free
All things in life come with a fee
The fees for these things were paid with a flood
Of Patriots, soldiers and forefathers blood
The prices paid by the soldiers for men
Have allowed them to protest once again
They want their freedoms yet they make us feel shame
I don't speak for all but know some feel the same
So we put on our faces and do what we do
We do it for them as we do it for you
Our nation was built from the blood of the man
And bring it down you won't but try yes you can
If you don't agree with what we do
and refuse to go fight
I say you sneak away in the middle of the night
Never return here to the Red White and Blue
Cause if you return an Ass kickin' will be waitin on you.
Okay enough i think I might have some really bad stuff to say next so THE END....
He was sent to Iraq one day
As he worked and did what he could
He came to understand what others should
Freedom life and happiness ain't free
All things in life come with a fee
The fees for these things were paid with a flood
Of Patriots, soldiers and forefathers blood
The prices paid by the soldiers for men
Have allowed them to protest once again
They want their freedoms yet they make us feel shame
I don't speak for all but know some feel the same
So we put on our faces and do what we do
We do it for them as we do it for you
Our nation was built from the blood of the man
And bring it down you won't but try yes you can
If you don't agree with what we do
and refuse to go fight
I say you sneak away in the middle of the night
Never return here to the Red White and Blue
Cause if you return an Ass kickin' will be waitin on you.
Okay enough i think I might have some really bad stuff to say next so THE END....
Thursday, August 18, 2005
No regrets
Dear Mrs. Sheehan,
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I, too, have lost someone in the war. It saddens me that so many of our young soldiers are dying in the war. I, however, believe that you are not bringing pride and honor to your son’s death. He died doing something that he knew could happen. He signed the paperwork under his own free will.
By questioning the President you are slandering your sons name right along with that of Mr. Bush. I don’t pretend to understand all of the feelings that you are experiencing. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a child, much less in a war. I can tell you that I do feel your loss as the numbers of soldiers go up.
I have a few questions for you:
One: What is your relationship with God? To question death is to question God. Your relationship with God can and will help you to get over such a great loss. Your son was an Honorable man who fought and eventually gave the ultimate sacrifice for his country. The reason he was in Iraq fighting was so that you could camp out on the highway and voice your opinion. Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Two: What do you hope to achieve by what you are doing? I know that you realize this but let’s just say that you do actually have something that you hope to achieve. I try and think of what you could possibly accomplish. Do you want the soldiers out of Iraq? Is that it? So we pull out and wait? Wait for another terror attack? Maybe this time the terrorists will kill more Americans and people will then, and only then, understand what Mr. Bush is trying to do. Stop it (terrorism) before it gets to bad to stop.
Three: What if you lived in Iraq and were treated by a tyrant as these people were treated? If you lived in Iraq and camped out on the side of the road leading to Sadamns house and protested, you would be dead by weeks end. Instead (of volunteering), your son would have been locked into the military. Then you would have to question why.
Mrs. Sheehan, my name is Jerry Biggerstaff, Jr. I am a soldier deployed to Iraq. The sacrifices that soldiers (may be called upon to) make are a known possibility when we sign the dotted line. You son was an honorable man and will always have a place in my heart.
Good luck talking with the President and I hope that you can see what it is that you are doing. You have successfully pulled the cowards out of the woodwork. Not all, but some of your supporters will not fight for their country, but against it, rather than defend it like OUR forefathers did. It sickens me as a soldier to see what you are doing there, while we do what we do here. This life is but a stepping-stone in the grand plan.
I hope that the sad reality of your son’s death will not continue to overshadow the awesome reality of what he did for his country and the country of Iraq. I believe “Gods Signature” is all over his actions.
Ma’am, I would like to recommend that you pack up and go home and praise God that he gave you a son and allowed you to spend the time you did with him. I will continue to do what I do and hope that you will eventually find your peace and then begin once again to enjoy YOUR FREEDOM.
SSG Jerry P Biggerstaff
Somewhere, Iraq
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I, too, have lost someone in the war. It saddens me that so many of our young soldiers are dying in the war. I, however, believe that you are not bringing pride and honor to your son’s death. He died doing something that he knew could happen. He signed the paperwork under his own free will.
By questioning the President you are slandering your sons name right along with that of Mr. Bush. I don’t pretend to understand all of the feelings that you are experiencing. I can only imagine what it would be like to lose a child, much less in a war. I can tell you that I do feel your loss as the numbers of soldiers go up.
I have a few questions for you:
One: What is your relationship with God? To question death is to question God. Your relationship with God can and will help you to get over such a great loss. Your son was an Honorable man who fought and eventually gave the ultimate sacrifice for his country. The reason he was in Iraq fighting was so that you could camp out on the highway and voice your opinion. Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Two: What do you hope to achieve by what you are doing? I know that you realize this but let’s just say that you do actually have something that you hope to achieve. I try and think of what you could possibly accomplish. Do you want the soldiers out of Iraq? Is that it? So we pull out and wait? Wait for another terror attack? Maybe this time the terrorists will kill more Americans and people will then, and only then, understand what Mr. Bush is trying to do. Stop it (terrorism) before it gets to bad to stop.
Three: What if you lived in Iraq and were treated by a tyrant as these people were treated? If you lived in Iraq and camped out on the side of the road leading to Sadamns house and protested, you would be dead by weeks end. Instead (of volunteering), your son would have been locked into the military. Then you would have to question why.
Mrs. Sheehan, my name is Jerry Biggerstaff, Jr. I am a soldier deployed to Iraq. The sacrifices that soldiers (may be called upon to) make are a known possibility when we sign the dotted line. You son was an honorable man and will always have a place in my heart.
Good luck talking with the President and I hope that you can see what it is that you are doing. You have successfully pulled the cowards out of the woodwork. Not all, but some of your supporters will not fight for their country, but against it, rather than defend it like OUR forefathers did. It sickens me as a soldier to see what you are doing there, while we do what we do here. This life is but a stepping-stone in the grand plan.
I hope that the sad reality of your son’s death will not continue to overshadow the awesome reality of what he did for his country and the country of Iraq. I believe “Gods Signature” is all over his actions.
Ma’am, I would like to recommend that you pack up and go home and praise God that he gave you a son and allowed you to spend the time you did with him. I will continue to do what I do and hope that you will eventually find your peace and then begin once again to enjoy YOUR FREEDOM.
SSG Jerry P Biggerstaff
Somewhere, Iraq
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
More Pets
Here kitty kitty kitty. This morning I opened the door to the supply room and there it was on the shelf straight ahead. I cat sized thing that quite frankly scared the shit out of me. It was the biggest RAT I have ever seen. His eyes looked at me as if to say I ain’t afraid of you. He was quick too. I chased the thing around the supply room for a bit and then left it alone. This thing was huge. His tail was just a little bit smaller than the thickness of a pencil. We have been having troubles for a couple of days. The supply room does not have a lot of food items in it like we have at the “house”. But they have not come to the house. I don’t think that they can get in. These things are not little tiny mice. They are so big that they cannot get under the door.
We spent the day patching holes in the walls and the openings around the Air conditioners. This was the place of entry for some of these “loveable little demons”. We used to fish a lot but had quite for a long while yet the bate was still disappearing. We were able to get a case of slim Jims and had been using them as bate. We had them outside on the top of the fireplace/burn pit. This is a good place to keep them away from mice. But at only 4 foot off the ground I think the RAT just stepped up there with one step. We set a trap and bated it with you guessed slim Jim. Hopefully tonight we will get it and get it gone. We have removed 2 so far. One of my roommates did not want to kill the first one so I did it and then we threw it in the water and the fish ate it. Disgusting. Next night another one, this time he was good and stuck to the glue trap so he was thrown into the lake alive and yep you guessed it the fish ate it. I have become very aware that if I were to fall into this water that I would flail around and quickly get out, to make sure that the fish did not feast on me because I think they are flesh eaters. This place is off the chart, out there backwards odd.
First the scorpions, then it was the wild dogs/ coyotes, then possibility of Cobras, of course the never ending supply of flies, then the “Man eating fish” and now well now it is the “Kitty Rats”. What is in store for us next month? Flying elephants??????????
We spent the day patching holes in the walls and the openings around the Air conditioners. This was the place of entry for some of these “loveable little demons”. We used to fish a lot but had quite for a long while yet the bate was still disappearing. We were able to get a case of slim Jims and had been using them as bate. We had them outside on the top of the fireplace/burn pit. This is a good place to keep them away from mice. But at only 4 foot off the ground I think the RAT just stepped up there with one step. We set a trap and bated it with you guessed slim Jim. Hopefully tonight we will get it and get it gone. We have removed 2 so far. One of my roommates did not want to kill the first one so I did it and then we threw it in the water and the fish ate it. Disgusting. Next night another one, this time he was good and stuck to the glue trap so he was thrown into the lake alive and yep you guessed it the fish ate it. I have become very aware that if I were to fall into this water that I would flail around and quickly get out, to make sure that the fish did not feast on me because I think they are flesh eaters. This place is off the chart, out there backwards odd.
First the scorpions, then it was the wild dogs/ coyotes, then possibility of Cobras, of course the never ending supply of flies, then the “Man eating fish” and now well now it is the “Kitty Rats”. What is in store for us next month? Flying elephants??????????
Monday, August 15, 2005
Bad Habits Form
Well It has been, I don’t know how long since I had a dip. I have not had a patch on my arm in several days now. I am beginning to think that I have finally quit for good. Problem is when you give up one bad habit you seem to develop others. I am up to a pack a day. My mouth gets dry, my lips twitch and the desire to have a dip is just so overwhelming. So I open a pack and by days end it is gone. I know that this habit is just as bad for me as the other but there are just some habits that are so hard to quit. So I guess now I will need to cut back on that habit because it is making my jaws sore. I am talking about chewing gum what did you think I was talking about. Gotcha.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Black Eyed People
There once was a family who lived far, far away. This family was very poor and could barely manage to feed themselves. They lived a sad miserable existence. It was a daily thing for them to pray that the water would come on that day or that they would have power all day. The children were dressed in whatever the parents could find for them to put on. Their clothes looked as they came right out of a dumpster perhaps discarded by another family who was better off. The home that they lived in was a small place more than likely deserted by its owners some years earlier. The poverty level of these people was not fully due to the lack of jobs in the area for there were jobs to be found, rather due to the miss-handled funds sent to the government for these people. The family of which I speak is actually a country full of people just like this. The contrast of rich and poor is ever apparent by the Palaces built by the leader of this country. The Palaces tower over the poor rundown neighborhoods of his people. I ask this question if the man was running his country with the values of a human being then why was it necessary to build 10 foot walls around his home? Why was it that his people feared him and why was it necessary to protect him from his people? Some say that we should not be here doing what we are doing. I ask you if this “Family” lived in your neighborhood would you just let them be there and not lend a helping hand? Day after day you watch as the small figures walked by with dirty faces and smiled up at you as if to say “help me”. If your answer is that you would just let them be then you need to read the good book. People were put on this earth to help with the bullies of society. I do not believe that we are the world police nor do I think that everyone believes this. I, however believe in right and wrong and freedom. The freedoms of these people have been taken from them and with it their will to fight and survive. In life when you have been beat down so many times it is hard to stand again. Hard that is without help. The helping hand that we are providing these people is one that I believe, in the Eyes of God will bring blessings on the United States and the soldiers who came here to defend the inhumanities inflicted on these people. The Iraqi people just want to survive. They want what all of us want, a better life for them and their children. We have helped usher in a new era of happiness for them but sooner or later it will be up to them to defend themselves. Sometimes a little training and or help from a friend can defeat even the fiercest of bullies.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Quick Trip
Finally late last night after talking to my wife(mother-n-law is in the hospital again), I laid my head down and fell fast asleep. It was about 1 am when I was awakened by my room mate who told me that my clerk had arrived at the airport. She had been home on R and R for the last two weeks. So I got dressed fired up the Hummv and made my way to the airport. This place is kind of peaceful at night when things don’t go boom. Just as I get fully relaxed it hits me that I am in a combat zone and not on a leisurely drive to DFW airport. Fully aware of my surroundings I stepped a little harder on the gas and was a little more cautious on the trip. The airport is in the “safe Zone” I thought but any more my definition of safe is not the same as other peoples. From start to finish with some driving techniques learned by watching too much NASCAR I made the full trip there and back in 1 hour 10 minutes. I even had enough time to miss my turn into the airport. Hopefully tonight will be a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I tell you I think I slept better when I was using the patch than I have in a while. Restless Nights in this country are common place and the soldiers talk of it all of the time. How can one be so tired yet not be able to sleep?
T. G. I. Monday (again)
Another manic Monday. Did not sleep worth a damn last night. I went to bed at around 10:30 and woke up every 15 minutes till 4 am. At 4 am the Generator that powers everything went out. The A/C went off and it got warm in a hurry. So I have been up since 4 am but feels like I have been up all night. Well due to the fact that there was no power it was quite difficult to make coffee so I started my day by eating at the Chow hall. Their coffee is horrible but it works. Prior to this I used some of the abundance of baby wipes sent to us by everyone. We have enough baby wipes to last for years. The water around here is controlled but electric pumps and with no electricity you guessed no water. So I shaved and brushed my teeth with bottled water. Okay so here I sit smelling like a baby behind and feeling sticky, Thanking God that they finally got the power back on. And in case you are wondering it is Wednesday the third Monday of the “normal” work week.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Just a little Boom
After Church yesterday several of the members went to eat at the chow hall. I usually try to go with them as I have come to realize that our chow hall is by far the worst in this country. As we sat and talked of home and family the rumble of the chow hall was interrupted momentarily by an impact outside. Most people have come to accept this as "normal" and continued eating shortly after. I glanced to the window in the direction of the noise and saw a plume of dirt flying high into the air. I too have come to accept this as normal. They deal death from afar and hope that it hits a "money" target. This one was off but not by much. God has protected us for one more day.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Quest for Reality
My present feelings are kind of like being in a small backyard with ten foot walls all around. I can hear the commotion outside but don’t know what it is. Upon arrival I did not care what it was but now curiosity has begun to overtake me. I do want to know what it looks like where these people live. I have seen their children as they visit the towers almost daily but where do they live. They say that it is really close to us here but I cannot see it. I do not want to risk harm but I also do not want to stay “locked up” for the rest of time I am here.
While we worked this morning we heard the terror and death from over the wall. The helicopters circled this way and that. There were 6 choppers out this morning and I am quite sure that the news stories tonight will tell the tale of death and destruction and of a hard to find enemy. With all of the BOOMS and WAWOOMS I can almost feel the death toll rise. I cannot remember what the toll was when we arrived but I know that it was far below the 1800 that we have surpassed now. As I think about these soldiers and their families I feel a sense of loss for them but it does not change the fact that I want to see what it is that we are here to defend and give a better way of life. I would just prefer to get on the “Freedom Bird” and head home but the job is not complete yet and home will just have to wait. So I wait and feel the walls close in around me. I tell myself soon, “Soon I will do something to send the walls back to their original size.”
While we worked this morning we heard the terror and death from over the wall. The helicopters circled this way and that. There were 6 choppers out this morning and I am quite sure that the news stories tonight will tell the tale of death and destruction and of a hard to find enemy. With all of the BOOMS and WAWOOMS I can almost feel the death toll rise. I cannot remember what the toll was when we arrived but I know that it was far below the 1800 that we have surpassed now. As I think about these soldiers and their families I feel a sense of loss for them but it does not change the fact that I want to see what it is that we are here to defend and give a better way of life. I would just prefer to get on the “Freedom Bird” and head home but the job is not complete yet and home will just have to wait. So I wait and feel the walls close in around me. I tell myself soon, “Soon I will do something to send the walls back to their original size.”
Friday, August 05, 2005
Rascal Flats and off on a tangent
As the beads of sweat rolled down under my uniform it began to soak my t-shirt. As I sit and watch I see the duct tape turn loose from the stage in the heat. Today Rascal Flatts was here to sing for us. It was a good performance a little short but these guys have not been in this heat for as long as we have. One of them opened up by saying "welcome to hell" and then corrected himself by saying that "it is 14 degrees hotter than hell here". He also said that now he knows what hell is like and he is going home to get right with the Lord. This was a crowd pleaser as we know that it is hot but have adjusted to it. They sang their songs for us and gave out some free CDs. This was another awesome thing. I don't know if they get paid for coming here to do what they do but no matter I am sure it is not enough. The show was an awesome testimony of how our presence here is effecting people back home and it feels good to know that we are cared about by many. The ones who don't support us or the President can pack up and leave the country that we defend. One thing that sickens me is Jane Fonda at it again. Who else is she going to piss off before she dies? I volunteer to give this woman a ride. A ride out of the country which she has betrayed and away from the veterans who cringe at the site of her on TV. She needs to disappear back under the rock from which she came......All MY opinion of course.
I do believe that people can be forgiven just not traitors to our nation and soldiers.
I do believe that people can be forgiven just not traitors to our nation and soldiers.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Moods
16 days without a dip. I am now using this little bitty patch with only 7 mg of nicotene. I am at this point very much ready to take the head off of anyone who disagrees with what I say or anyone who tells me what to do. I need to stay away from people for a couple of weeks.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Military Spouse
Do you know how to tell a military spouse from any other spouse? The military spouse is the one who when mad at the children yells, " Don't make me email your father". haha Well last night was round three of long distance car/truck repairs. The email said the it just goes click click click and will not start, but it can't be the battery because the radio works. I love my wife and my oldest son but they have no clue about how a vehicle works. After sending an email responce, I logged onto IM and saved us about 30 or 40 dollars if not more. Chevrolet has some quirks. One is that darned side post battery that always corrodes over time. Step by step I gave an in depth description of exactly how this repair was to be done. From the "Hood won't open" to the bolt is stripped out, my oldest son with my guidance has read the instructions and carried them out. Last night was a simple repair it went from Click click click to Vroom Vroom. I have heard stories of soldiers walking their wives or oldest kids through all kinds of repairs at home. From electrical to plumbing. If something is going to break it will do it when the one with the most knowledge of it is gone. Soldiers, Repairmen, Husbands and Dads we touch on a little bit of everything just making that bond of love grow stronger.
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