I was sitting on the couch this evening wondering what it would be like to be home. Home with my wife and kids. Home seems so far away yet we are one day closer to being there. In all this I came to the realization that I have some type of fear of going home. The lines below list some of that fear and from the thoughts of fear of coming home I turned it into a poem of sorts. Some of the things listed in the poem are fiction but some of the thoughts are real. Hope you enjoy. We have been so busy lately that I have not had time to write. Almost there.
I feel like that kid in school who went out one night and acted a fool.
As he puts the quarter in the slot he wonders about broken rules.
He makes the call to his dad and when he hangs up he feels oh so bad.
He cries:
Daddy I’m scared to come home. There are people in here but I am alone.
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
When you were my age did you do any of the same?
As he loads the last suitcase in the car,
He turns and looks back at his home from a far
Mom and dad I love you and gone
He calls:
Daddy I’m scared and alone,
I‘ve been thinking of coming home.
I feel so alone can I move back in?
On the plane gone to fight over the sea
Thoughts of home bring fears to light for me
Soon my dream will come true
He writes:
Daddy I’m scared to come home,
I’ve been away for too long.
What if when I get there I cannot remember who I am?
As the sharp pain fades from his thoughts
His eyes focus on the joys that they ought
He sees the light in his eyes
He prays:
Father take me home, There are people here who are all alone
Before you come and get me can I ask you one thing
Does it hurt knowing you gave your son for our shame?
1 comment:
I can certainly understand the 'fears' you feel about coming home. There is always changes to adjust to when you return, even if you have only been away a short time. Believe me that the qualms you feel are felt by your family, too. You have changed, too, and they will have to learn to accept the new you! I truly believe that your wife and family will be so glad to have you home again that nothing else will matter. Whatever changes have occurred will soon seem just normal to you all. If you really knew how much your family love you, you would probably be surprised. Somehow, it is difficult to find words to tell a person our true feelings. The parts of your family that I know do love you very much and are very much looking forward to having you home again. God bless and keep you safe.
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