Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Must be poetry week

I sat this evening and wrote this poem. I really have nothing to write about. Had an inspection last week and did very well. Have not had any nicotene since the day I decided to quit. So really nothing to talk about. Well nothing that I can talk about anyway. So hope you enjoy this one.

THE EYES OF A SOLDIER
His eyes told a story that no one could know
All day he would hide it so it would not show
The echoes of gun shots ring through his head
Sometimes he hates it when it’s time for bed

His life was changed, drastically, so it would seems
His friends die beside him right there in his dreams
He wishes to save them as visions sadden his brain
The fighting the enemy the jungle and the rain

As he wakes from his bed, in a cold, cold sweat
He says dear Lord please don’t take me, I ain’t done yet
His life he would give to his country, his home
But he is just not ready for God to take him home.

Soldiers have a bond that joins them for life
Not like a mother, a son or daughter or wife
The bond I speak of is indescribably strong
Civilians don’t understand it, but these bonds last long

The unit stays together through thick and through thin
The battles do come to us, everyday over again
The battles will rage long after the war
The people the buddies the minds so sore

One thing is certain the one thing the same
No one person gets credit no one takes blame
The country is where it is for us today
Because of the soldier who in the mud did lay

As the sand is blowing and our eyes burn
This is our war, our time, it’s our turn
So to all of the Veterans of all other Wars
We got your backs so battle no more

Let the sad times go let the battles that rage
Live your life to the fullest let God turn the page
And when God comes calling, he will call your name
Go with him forever and show no shame

For the greatest ones of our country were the men just like you
Who fought for our freedoms and the Red, White, and Blue

Enough is Enough.

Dear Mrs. Sheehan,

Congratulations on your recent arrest. I think you have finally achieved the ignorant notoriety that you were seeking. As I sit here and watch the news I wish there was a way to remove you from it. You in your loss have become the "mini fonda" of this war. I am sure that your son looks down upon you and is not pleased with what he sees. I pray that while all of this is going on here that your son is too busy to notice the bad name and shame you are bringing to his life and your family name. Ma’am your disgusting display of ignorance on the televisions of the world can only be described as pitiful.

The smile on your face brings sadness to mine.

I ask the Police dept that arrested you to keep you for as long as it takes for you to get over the sad loss of your son. Maybe some jail time will allow you the quiet time to reflect on what it is that you have done to the troops. Your demeaning display of “hated” for this cause is a terrible injustice to all soldiers serving anywhere.

Ma’am just go home, back to the life that you have wrecked in search of, answers?
You have successful lost your family twice I understand you lost your son to your first husband and then to the war. Please go home and quit trying to ruin other lives with your meaningless fight for….what is it this week?



Signed An AMERICAN SOLDIER
Jerry P Biggerstaff Jr
Somewhere Iraq

Monday, September 26, 2005

Even Soldiers Cry

As I cleaned my room tonight I came across a book on the bottom shelf covered in dust. Everything is always covered in dust. I picked it up and opened it. It was a journal that I had started before discovering the blog. It was written before we left on this adventure while driving 90 miles an hour home to see the family.

In his helmet he keeps a picture of his wife
To remind him of a happier time in his life
As a soldier of the risks he is aware
But also found someone with life to share

His kids are there as he turns to leave
He tries not to wear his emotions on his sleeve
He closes his eyes to fight off a tear
He smiles and waves and says "no fear"

Good-bye got harder and harder as the time drew near
Mission unknown His future unclear
Lives will change for better or worse
They say "We'll see you" he says not if I see you first

Love fills the air Emotion on high
Live life as a soldier never say die
Do the job you trained for never ask why
Live life as a soldier, even soldiers cry

Even Soldiers cry.........

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Anniversary

Today I spent my second anniversary in a row away from home. I have been married 17 years and I remembered on my own but the day before. I did have to send out an email to verify the date because for the life of me I could not remember the month. I really felt bad about this and spent the better part of yesterday and today putting a video together for my loving wife. I wish there was a way to attach it to the site as I was very happy with the way it turned out. I love my wife and miss here dearly. What did I do for my anniversary? Well I went to church. I am going to watch NASCAR as well. I long to be at home with my family but cannot for some time longer. SO till then I’ll just pray that everything goes safely and quickly.

Maturity

There are kings and kids inside us all. The mature individual is one who can balance on that fine line between the two. One who can balance between the two might be known as a success but success can also be attributed to one who can successfully hide inner feelings. Kids and kings both have times that they might hide their inner most feelings. A kid might hide the fact that he took a cookie and got away with it or that he has a fear of the “dark”. Whatever the fear it seems best not discussed. The king does the same maybe with feelings of sending his soldiers into combat or other feelings. These feelings if not exposed can bottle up into an explosion. The balanced individual can speak about what is bothering him. Whether king or kid one might say that certain things must not be hidden they must be said. If the king tells the soldiers of his feelings of sadness about sending his soldiers into combat the soldiers would have a better respect for him. If the child does not get caught he will never tell on himself and will not learn the valuable lessons of life. There are kings and kids in us all. We need to let the king live and let the kids breath to maintain a balance in life.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Mr or Sir????

Awesome opportunity. I have the chance to apply for the job in the military that I have always wanted. I think I would be good at it. The problem is that I am unsure as to whether or not it is what I want to do anymore. The last year has clouded my judgment and made my outlook kind of weak. This job would turn me into one of the most respected ranks in the military in my opinion. I would become a Warrant Officer. This rank means simply put that you are the best in your field. I have seen good and bad Warrants during this adventure. However even the bad ones have their useful moments. I know that I could be a good one. I am stuck, as to what I should do. The problems are a move to the Big City of Austin, and the school. I am too old to go to a “basic training” type school again. What am I to do? I do not enjoy being yelled at. I do not have to be yelled at to get someone’s point. This is by far one of the hardest schools the military has to offer at my level. I just do not know. I do know that it is an all or nothing jump. The decision I make today I will have to live with tomorrow. I do not want to give up the house that I have put numerous hours of elbow grease and love into. The house that gives me so much pride when my wife says “I like my house”, but the prestige of becoming a Warrant (like Johnny) brings a great sense of accomplishment to my mind. Decisions Decisions. Lord I pray to you that you will help with the future of my family and help me with the decisions at hand. Assist me in making the right one.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

More Bad News

With all of the catastrophic events that are occurring in the world today. The war In Iraq, the hurricanes that hit the numerous coastal states and many other things too numerous to mention, they have done it again. The atheists have once again gotten foothold on our society. I am not saying that this “religion” is not right but what I am saying is that they can teach their kids to say the pledge and omit whatever they want to but does this mean that I should not teach it to my children the full version. It makes me wonder can I sue this man for taking the “In God we Trust” out of my sons pledge or school? It is my right as a free citizen to have my son taught in the ways I see fit just as he does. Maybe the way to fix this is to create a “No God School” in each state and let all objectors of God and kids attend. Do these people spend the money created by our government that says “in God we Trust” on it. If so this is sacrilege. Can't have it in the pledge but they can carry it in their pockets and spend it. Is this the true definition of hypocrit. Maybe they will attack this next, but until then I say that these people should not be paid as it is against their “rights” to carry such a demeaning piece of paper in their pockets. Let them come here and tell these people that pray is not allowed in their schools. I know that this is where these people would stand up and say no “YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN OUR SCHOOLS”. I am tired of all of the attempts to make society Religion free. Not having a religion is a religion in itself. So I say that no religion is a violation of my rights as a citizen of the United States of America. God is not allowed in our schools but guns are. I don’t care if you like it, I don’t care if you agree with it, I think if you don’t love it leave it. Protest from somewhere to someone who will listen and I say GOD BLESS THE USA because it was formed “UNDER GOD” and he will return to “HARVEST HIS PEOPLE” and these people will without a doubt be “LEFT BEHIND”.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Stop kickin' them around

THis is a question I recieved on email that I had to think to think about before I answered.
Hey there. After reading your latest entry in the blog today, I was wondering if you feel like these people will be able to defend themselves after the US pulls out or are you worried that someone else will step in and try to take over for Sadamm? Bush says these people aren’t ready yet, but are getting there and other news people think everything that is going on is not worth it. Seeing as you’re closer to the situation than most I was curious about your personal thoughts on the matter. –J.

I had to think a little on your question so as to answer it in a way that I believe fitting. SO here goes..



I believe that these people are wimps. They have been kicked around for so many years that they will need some support for a little while. It is kind of like that bully scenario I painted in my blog. I know all too well about the bully. See they pick on you they beat you up down and just break you down. Some without ever touching you. Then when you get your fill when you have finally had enough you stand up to him them whomever. Problem is these people did not do this for themselves. They had to have help to beat up this bully. So now they are trying to come out of the shell of fear. This shell is tough to remove as they have become accustom to living in it. I do believe that they will take over some time but as Mr. Bush says they are not ready yet. They are coming around. People(here) are reporting things that they never would have. Telling on a bully has repercussions but eyes are opening and they are beginning to see that they will have to stand for themselves on their own. All we have done is liberate, the rest is up to them but we will provide in essence security until it is done. The news media would have all believe that what we do here is not good. I am not sure why but lots of things just make no sense. I do know that if a bully on the block was picking on people I would stand up for my neighbor even if it meant repercussion. But that is why I am a soldier and some people are not.. Hope this makes sense. This is yet another one of those “touchy subjects”. Take care j

This holds true in many stances of life. The bullies can be anyone knowing or not.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Just Sad

Pain in life is brought about by many things but one of the most severe cases of pain is brought about by change. Ever known someone and acted differently in front of them for whatever reason. Reasons could range from fear or confrontation to just wanted to be some one else. Then you realize that the acting is not right as it does not allow for people to react to the true person. Well that has happened to me. I have always tried to be the supportive and understanding person. Driving miles and miles to help people in their time of need. Not asking for anything in return. In the event of confrontation just letting it go or acting as if it was not seen. I have examined my life and have found that I do not stand up for myself or my family. I am a grown Mature man and realize that what I have done is wrong. I have acted as someone else for so long that I am not sure who I am. I do know that right and wrong is ever apparent in all walks of life it is just some choose not to see it or to see it and act anyway. God is in my life. Maybe not as completely as I would choose but he is gaining strength. I feel a sense of loss as the people who I am trying to explain this to have told me things that just do not seem real or fair. I am immature. I married at age 19. I have been a father since. People tell me that I am a good father. I have even been told by some of Russ’ kin folks that I have done a wonderful job with him. I can only hope that he has not learned the fake faces and will not distance himself from family to avoid confrontation. I love my family and hoped that they could understand the soul searching that I have been doing here. I can only hope when the smoke clears and the attitudes return to normal that we can be completely honest with each other not matter the pain involved. I have missed family and want the feelings of uneasiness to subside before I return home. Don’t know that it will, but I can always Pray.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Meeting House of a Mad man

Today I went and visited the Bath(not sure of the spelling. Party house. This was where we saw Sadamn sitting behind a large circular board room type table before the war. Numerous interviews were done from this table. There were many bathrooms as this man had issue with his hands apparently. After greetings or just a compulsion he had to wash his hands all of the time. As we walked through the literal Ruins of this building I was reminded of a phrase coined by “Steve Erkle” with a Slight change to it…….”DID WE DO THAT?”.Damn right we did and now his people are benefiting from it. The place was not well built and it was evident, but then again what building would stand up to the bombs that hit it. Through the holes in the walls you could see the poor craftsmanship. It looked almost as if they made the inside marble walls and then poured cement down in between them. Not to mention broken bricks and such. If this man would have had a brain he would have been dangerous. The money spent in these monstrous structures was money well wasted…. He could have spent the money on better the society and lives of his people. He could still be in power with a people who would have defended him to the death. Instead he was a hidden man as given the chance his people would surely kill him. Body doubles and hidden passages and tunnels to get him from point A to B.
The structure had tall walls and you could see at one time it was a beautiful place. From the floor the different rooms could be seen of course the destruction of the place was visible in all rooms. I cannot imagine being in the building when the bombs hit. The whole place shook the floors buckled the ceilings collapsed and some of Iraq’s most sadistic people died. There were false walls inside that hid rooms from everyone. Some of them were still in tact. I wonder what he hid in these walls Money, people or just himself. From this building there were many tunnels under the water. You could actually walk under the water in a tunnel from one building to the next. Why? Why was this man compelled to spend all that money making these things? Fear……He was most definitely afraid of what his people would do to him without protection. After looking at the tunnels from the roof we went to one of his bunkers.
.The doors to the bunker were about a foot thick and there were several of them before we got to the inside. The bunker itself did not appear to me to be real safe. It was almost above ground. It was in a mound of dirt that was really visible but maybe not from the air. I just thought he was a rat when we came to get him but this man was a rat in more ways than one all of his life.
The guide said that there was a tunnel that led to the airport big enough to drive a truck through. That is crazy. I guess he had always planned for an invasion? Or maybe it was to protect him from his own people? I am glad that I did not grow up here live here and I pray to God that I do not die here. This place was a nightmare for his people, with the elections and liberation we have awakened a free people.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Thank you

Kind people,

We are still here. We work daily in an effort to provide freedom and ensure that our country remains free and as terror free as possible. I cannot speak for all soldiers but I know, that the vast majority of the people at home support us. I assure you that I share the wonderful cards and kind words sent by you with my fellow soldiers. The out-pouring of support received by family, friends and strangers alike is a testimony to the great foundation that our nation was built on. It gives me great pride to serve my country but it makes it just that much better to know that we are supported by those who matter.

We are, however, all to aware of the protestors who disagree with what we do here. We see them on the news mostly when we eat chow. She says she wants to meet with the president or they say no blood for oil. I say to them if there is no reason for us to be here then by all means come here on vacation. Come visit the very places that do not need our help. Maybe upon return to our wonderful country these people would appreciate their freedoms a bit more.

Anyway I wanted to send this letter and say thank you for supporting us over here. My parents tell me that you don’t know what to send in support of us here. In light of recent events I say take care of the home front first, donate time and effort to help out the victims of the hurricane and just keep supporting the soldiers in thoughts and prayers. We do what we do so you can do what you do. We are fighting for freedom for all. Thanks for the prayers. I know "He is watching over us".


THANK YOU




Your husband, father, son, brother, friend,

Jerry Biggerstaff
Somewhere, Iraq

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Touchy Subject

The world is consumed with hatred? by whom?

As I sit and watch the events of the aftermath of the Hurricane unfold I sit in a somber sadness. I never once thought it would be said that the rescue efforts or delay of rescue efforts had something to do with race. Apparently there are some people who believe that the reason the relief is delayed to this disaster area has something to do with skin color. These accusers know nothing of what is going on and seem to have no concern to find out. I don’t know everything about this either but lets see this is the “worst disaster” in America since the early 1900’s. Some how this becomes the fault of whom? There was not much of a disaster plan in place and now that the relief is starting to arrive will we hear apologies from these “prejudice conspiracy pushers”. No we won’t we will continue to hear the same.

Shoot to kill orders have been given now. Shoot another American? This would be difficult but it comes down to who is shooting at whom and who shot first. I think with all that is going on that I am safer here than I would be at assisting in Hurricane relief efforts. The looters and the shooters shooting at the very rescuers who have been sent to help people in a dark hour. Alot of the population of Lousianna is dirt poor and some of these people are looking for a free hand out or to loot their way to a better lifestyle.

I am not a person to judge someone by the color of their skin. I know that there are good and bad in all people in all walks of life. I have been raised to know and understand that there is no difference in the ethnicities of people only in lifestyles and upbringing. I do not pretend to accept or agree with what was done to people brought from Africa and forced into labor in the States. I am thankful that the world is not like this any longer?

Mr. Lincoln did the right thing when the slaves were freed. But will everyone ever be considered equal. It saddens me to think that in this century people still think of differnces in color instead of judging people for who they are. People of all walks of life need to grow up and remember that all men where created by one God and that there were no differences then and there are no differences now. As far as no support being sent because these people are black I say that this is just a misguided perception of small few to cause an uprising among an already disheartened people. Please pray for these people as I do and will continue and if you find it in your heart to donate or help out in anyway I am sure that it will be appreciated and that the rewards received in Heaven will be greater than can ever be imagined…..