A Chill in the Air makes me think of there.....

There is chill in the air tonight. A thought that time has finally passed, that just maybe, we can begin to think of home again. It is not time as of yet but we will not know until the last minute to continue to cast an inkling of doubt in the eyes of the enemy. The temperatures have begun to drop to a chilly 55 or so degrees at night. I know now that I am acclimatized as 55 degree is too cold to venture out without some sort of cold weather gear. Today the high was around 85 degrees but never seemed to really warm up. This happened all of a sudden. It was a quick change. One day it was 105 and the next it was cold. It blew in upon us and reassured us that we have been here for a while. The desire to get back to normal growing but trying to maintain some sense of reality that we are still here and not leaving anytime soon becomes a daily ritual. My dreams have returned to me. I sleep the whole night through but I must toss and turn as I wake up sleepy and groggy. Won’t be long but will be awhile.

Maria

I cannot remember if I have spoken of Maria in my blog before. Maria is the only woman member of our church service on Sunday evenings. She sits in the third row each Sunday and wears a veil covering her head during service. I did not know for many months what her nationality was I just assumed she was an American working in Iraq. When I learned that she was actually from Iraq I developed a list of questions that I wanted to ask her. I never asked her any of them because it just did not seem appropriate. These are just a couple of the questions I would have asked her given the chance. Question one: Have you been treated harshly for being a Christian here? I can only begin to imagine what it would be like to be a Christian living in this country. Think about it they would surely have to hide their bibles and read them in complete secrecy. People of the U.S. are permitted to read their bibles whenever and wherever yet so many bibles are dusty and new. I think of a basic training like ritual when it comes to her trying to read her bible at home. See in basic training there was a strict lights out policy at I believe it was 10 o’clock. After 10 the flashlights would come out and blankets would cover heads. Letters home were written this way, not because we were not allowed to write home but because this was the only time we had to do it. Can you a free citizen Imagine what it must have been like for a resident HERE in this country to study the bible. Things we take for granted.

The second question I wanted to ask was asked by a friend last night after service. The question simply put was do you think it will ever settle down over here.(the killing and bombings and such). Her answer was a quick yes. She said that not so much after the elections as after the trial. I personally was shocked at what she said next. She said once Saddam is killed that the country would become quiet once more. She explained how the bathists still believe that he (Saddam) will some how be freed and regain power once again. Once he is gone they will then begin to accept the new direction that the country is headed in.

The conversation continues, and I wondered how Jesus made his way to this country. It is strange but in my mind I just thought that Jesus only lived in the hearts of U.S. citizens. As my mind faded back into the conversation Maria exclaimed proudly that “Jesus is everywhere”. I have heard that all of my life but until this point had never really believed it, I guess. Jesus is everywhere! The Koran says something about once you are a believer of Islam you cannot be of any other religion. Yet there are Christians here. When asked if she thought Christianity would become stronger here she said that just in her home town or area, alone that there were maybe 500 to 1000 people who study the bible and believe, but quickly said that they would not tell anyone that, for fear of persecution. I hope that one day these people can study and believe as they chose to and can only hope that this in itself will not cause another Century of War…..

Go ahead and laugh, Man my toe hurts.

Throughout my blog I have talked of hitting the wall, well now I want to tell you about kicking the wall.

I stood on the median of the highway just outside of Baird Texas. The grass was green and the breeze was cool and blowing. I leaned on the back of my truck and was just admiring the world and reflecting on life, when I noticed a Rhino coming up the service road in my direction. A Rhino is a tan armored bus that resembles a Recreational Vehicle. As I followed this massive vehicle as it climbed the hill The M249 machine gun on the top came to life. As I checked the area I noted the target. The target was pigeons. Thousands and thousands of pigeons feathers flying everywhere. As the vehicle disappeared I quickly noted three Iraqi’s approaching me slowly. One of them was carrying an Ak-47 assault rifle. One of the other two leaned in and said something to the weapon yielding civilian at that he quickly turned and started firing into on coming traffic. Startled by the fired I grabbed my M4 rifle and began to load a magazine. As I slapped the magazine home one of the Iraqi’s grabbed my weapon and tried to wrestle it away from me. We struggled for a minute and then since I was unable to pull it from his grasp I decided to kick him. I rared back and kicked him with all my might. I was awaked by the sound of my foot crashing into the wall with a loud thud. I laid there for a second and then the pain hit me. In my odd dream I had struggled and then kicked the wall full force shoving my big toe far back in its socket. Now I am limping around and have actually been good for morale as I tell my story and let everyone enjoy the laugh. Man my toe hurts.

Still here

I know that I have used the title still here already once in my blog but it just seems so fitting to use it again. The things just do not seem to change any more. The reality is that I am begining to feel as if I live here and that there is no other place but here. I talk to my wife and kids and try to imagine home but really cannot. I am home at least for now. The days are numbered now but not sure how many are left. The rumors fly around but no one knows for sure and even if we did we could not say. I do know that all of the soldiers here are ready to return to their old lives whether or not they can remember them not mattering much. We all know as well that we may return to our old lives but we will never ever be the same...

just thinkin'

As you sit at home with fear in your head
A soldier lies alone somewhere in his bed
He hopes he can go home in his dreams at night
Happy thoughts of home that end at morning light

Life for him is slow and full of repetition
No one helped him obtain his position
See it cost them a signature to do what they do
Soldiering is not for everyone, is it for you?

Training for years and learning a job
Learning how to deal, with an angry mob
Praying that the training received will never be used
Praying that people will never be abused

Then one day it happens a call up and then fear
We wonder sometimes “what the hell are we doing here?”
This feeling does not come often or even everyday
Because we mostly know that we are showing the way

People are free in this country for now
Some want us to pull out I ask just how.
How could we leave them half trained and unaware
Pray for this country and their freedom to share

I, I mean we, will surely return
Sharing some stories about what we did learn
One thing for certain I tell you with pride
The people are thinking and do not wish to hide

Life love and happiness is freedom to me
I will return to my freedoms one day you’ll see..


SSG B

Scared of the Dark?

Tonight we (a couple of friends and I) were invited to one of the 1sg's house for dinner. He made steaks and potatoes with Brat wurst. It was awesome. After we ate and talked awhile we decided it was time to leave. We rode our bikes over with the sun up, but when we walked outside it was dark. We decided to go ahead and ride back to the house in the dark. As we began to ride it hit me that it was odd that we were riding in the dark, in a combat zone and then if you add the fact that we shadowed the exterior wall of the camp on the way homen well crazy I guess some would say. It has become common occurance. It is as if we are not in any danger. We hear the loud booms but can tell they are in the distance. Life here has become just that life. I think it is called complacency. The thoughts of home comings seem to outweigh the thoughts of danger. Well we made it home tonight just fine and I just thought I might share the interesting ride in the dark.. I do not think I would even do this dark ride in my home town at night.

Past Post updates.

As I sit here bright and early this morning (after 3 cups of coffee) I think back on this adventure. Things are kind of in a ground hog day pattern again. You know the “today is Monday yesterday was Monday” thing. It is getting monotonous and old. I re-read my blog and realized that I have not given some updates on some of the things I have talked about.

The inspections went well. I passed with flying colors. No deficiencies. I received a “Coin” for my efforts. A coin is an on the spot award for doing an outstanding job on something important. This was the first coin I had ever been awarded and it felt good.

Snuff, Copenhagen, dip, Tobacco: haven’t had any since the day I quit back in August I think it was. I am started to feel better about things and my mind is unusually clear. I have come to realize things are better without it. There are however days when it is really bad. The guy who sits at a desk right beside me tried to quit but failed. So I get to watch as he is constantly putting this nasty stuff in his mouth. Maybe this is a test to ensure that I never pick this habit up again.

In-laws. Both of my in-laws are doing better. They are both at home now and hopefully they will stay in good health for a while longer.

Russ is doing well in College. It is hard to believe that when this started he was a high school senior and now he is a college freshman. He seems to be doing very well and he is also working so he is finally getting a taste of life. I as a father could not be any prouder of him.

Todd struggled a bit through the first six weeks of school. Third grade is different and he must work a bit more than he did in years past. I think he is finally getting a handle on it. Todd and I are growing ever distant as he does not like to talk to me or anyone for that matter on the phone. There is an echo on the line when we talk and I know that he has a hard time with it as I do too. I cannot wait to get back home and spend time with the little guy.

Rosario is doing well. She is on a health kick that has me a bit worried. I have not been a very healthy person and now it seems my diet will change. I know that it is a good thing. I just hope that my favorite foods can either be made healthy and taste as good or that we can still enjoy them in moderation. I really love tacos enchiladas and big greasy hamburgers with bacon and cheese and well now I have done it. I have made myself hungry for something that I cannot get here. The mess hall has hamburgers but not like the one I am talking about. A double Whata Burger with cheese and all that good unhealthy stuff, with a chocolate shake for desert, large of course, now that is a meal.

Well that updates the blog for now. Hopefully some excitement coming up soon. If so I will let you know in here. Till then Pray for the troops especially the family of Steve Morin Jr.. Pray for families to be able to get over what has them torn apart from hurricanes to deployments let them all get back together as soon as it is possible. God bless j

Reality hits home

The boots were placed ever so carefully at the sides of the weapon. The weapon had the bayonet attached and it was barrel down in the special built box. The butt of the weapon had the Kevlar helmet on it place ever so carefully. The base of the box had a picture of a soldier whom I did not know but was my brother. His Identification tags hung from the pistol grip of his rifle. Hearts ached today for this lost soldier. The first combat death of a solider in our unit since World War II. The sadness and reflection of life whistled through my thoughts like a raging wind. I remember stand in the early preparation looking out upon the battalion and wondering if we would all make it back. Trying to memorize the faces of the soldiers so that I would know them if something like this were to happen. As the chaplain spoke he quoted a verse that I love to use. “No Greater love hath a man than to lay down his life for a friend”. This county is full of our friends and we defend them but some do not understand it. I hope that his wife and two children know what their father has come to mean to the soldiers of this unit. I hope that his family will be able to overcome the grief that they suffer and will manage to carry on with life. We will keep his memory alive as I am sure that his family will. The ceremony was really an awesome send off to a real soldier. TAPS was played and tears welled up in the eyes of soldiers. We have feelings too. The twenty-one gun salute did not startle us as it would have before our adventure began. Our senses numbed by the noises of this place in which we live. We see what we are here for and know why we are here and we know first hand that soldiers die here. The somber mood of the ceremony carried through for several hours afterwards. The sad reality of death was noted by all and this soldier’s memory will not be forgotten. I salute him and hope that he is seated with the Father in complete righteousness. Pray for his family.