Chow Time!

The following is from my friend John P. :

What can I tell you about the wonders of Bagram Airfield?  23,000
soldiers, sailors and airmen ranging from the age of 18 to 60 and they
all have one thing in common.  They want to eat.  With this massive
number of people packed into such a small place, you will find a
different chow hall about every half mile.  Okay... the official term
today is "Dining Facility" as the military is a bit classer than it used
to be.

Right across the street from my high rise condo is what we have nicked
name the BBQ Shack.  They have everything it takes to keep a soldier
healthy and strong.  The menu highlights such nourishing delights as
hamburgers, hot dogs, hot links, chicken, beef skewers, brisket,
sausage, ribs, chili, corn on the cob, baked beans, and rolls.  But fear
not my friend; the US Army would never dare to destroy such a vast array
of cholesterol packing poisons with anything that even remotely looks
like a green vegetable.  I lay odds that there is not a green bean to be
found anywhere within a 100 mile radius of this place.  So why fight it.
Let the US Soldier shout the manly mantra for the entire world to hear,
"We need our protein!"

But wait; there is more to this grand dining adventure for all of us to
share.  First we acknowledge that despite our wants, needs and desires,
there will be no veggies found in our food pyramid.  Yet, we know that
man truly cannot live on beef alone.  So the brothers and sisters of the
armed forces cried out and Uncle Sam heard our plea.  Yes he said you
need more.  You need ICE CREAM!

That is right my happy little brisket buddy.  Ice Cream is there with
every meal, to be served, not on one of those silly little cones, but by
the bowl full.  Not one insulting scoop, but rather a full man sized
triple scoop with all of the toppings to include chocolate syrup,
whipped cream, strawberries and crushed nuts.  Throw a couple of those
chocolate chip cookies on the side and you have created the
Cardiovascular Surgeons retirement plan.  Long live the wonders of
balloons, stints and triple bypass surgery.

At one time we feared that horrors of the Improvised Explosive Devices
that were used against us by the insurgency forces.  Now we have
presented the battlefield with a much more deadly weapon.  The flying
button has been added to the arsenal of the military.  Private Joe, who
joined the army with a 32 inch waist, has now been transformed to a
solid 36 incher with buttons that cry out for relief.  So, we announce
aloud for all of the Taliban to hear, WE HAVE BUTTONS - and they are
aimed at you!

Serious Side note:  You really do have to be careful here.  The food is
not that great, but there is a lot of it.  For those who go outside the
wire busting it every day, they do need the food volume just to
replenish their bodies.   But, on the other hand, there are those old
men like me who have a desk job and must fear the "Furniture Disease."
What is the "Furniture Disease?"  That is where your Chest drops down to
your Drawers.

Take care my friends and pray for a soldier today.