Leave me alone

Feelings of sadness from within they build. It is like it starts with the heart and then consumes the whole body. I cannot seem to shake it off. The building feelings of worry about the upcoming trip home combined with the fear of someone else handling my job while I am gone. No matter how hard I try to get things perfect prior to my departure I always remember something that I have neglected to teach. Will I be the same person I was when I left? When I get home will I feel like a stranger visiting “someone elses home”. The feeling of terror mounts. The WALL could this be it? Could this be what I have talked about and heard about for years. I want so much to go home but also have a fear of being there. It will be okay I tell myself but I do not know if it will or if I will. The burning sensation in the pit of my stomach has been building as I count down the days till I return home. I do not usually count days as it seems to make them slow down. A helpless feeling has taken over. I want to go home yet the fear almost makes wish not to return.