Pondering the Future
As I ponder the next year a reoccurring question remains imbedded in my head. Is this my time? If I am not killed will I be the same when I get back. I would think that after a year in a strange country bearing witness to such horrific sights that it might change someone’s outlook. Would I be changed? Will I be the one on the News who would shoot someone at the drop of a hat? In my thoughts I feel scared. Would I be, the someone, Dad, Husband and Friend that I was before I left when I return? My fear of death does not out weigh the pride that I have in fighting for my country. The founding fathers of this Nation knew that we would not survive if we did not fight for what we believe in.
Laugh at Death
During training Death is funny to most. “ Ha-ha he got shot”, but to me the soldier is dead. If he died in training then he could die in combat. We all could die in combat. Does it mean that I am a coward if I chose not to go outside? That is not my mission. What will I do when we arrive in country? This is just training. Are heroes born or is it some situation that they find themselves in and instinct takes over. I believe that soldier’s instincts are implanted during training. I wonder if I could be a Hero or will I turn tail and run. Like all other soldiers I think of myself as the hero type, but I will not know until it happens. I think that if my fellow soldiers were in trouble I would come to their aid no matter what the danger. Please God do not let it happen.
People die everyday. Drugs, auto accidents etc. but when they do they are gone. A small send off and they are gone. If a soldier dies, he dies for his country, for the citizens of it and the soldiers who defend it. The send off for a soldier is awesome. From the Flag draped casket to the playing of Taps. This is the way I want to go just not at this age. I have so many things that I have not done in life. I want to go on a cruise. I want to fly to another country for a vacation not a War.
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