Trigger Squeeze

Trigger squeeze
With the first trigger squeeze will there be a decision to make? Will the persons whose life that I have to take be an armed adult shooting at me or will it be a kid with a weapon. I have had many dreams of just this, a kid with a weapon. Just as my finger closes down on the trigger, I wake up from the nightmare. I do not want to make a decision I would much rather be being shot at than have to decide if the person is a threat. Why do we allow them to carry weapons around? The perceived threat from a person with a weapon is extreme. This causes mixed emotions in me and I am not even there yet. Will these types of exchanges have a lasting effect on me for the rest of my life? If they do not does it mean that I am a cold-hearted killer? Most soldiers hope that their trip over will not yield any firefights. My goal is to go over there and come back without firing one single round. If the shoe was on the other foot and they were coming here would I give my wife a gun to defend herself? Would I get shot and would this give her the courage to shoot at some one out of revenge? I do not want to kill anyone especially not a woman or child but I guess if the threat is there is disarming them is out of the question then it will be done. Will I have to? I sure hope not.